[PUBLIC POST] Writing to clear my head

[ljwrites]

“Writing a book is an adventure. To begin with it is a toy and an amusement. Then it becomes a mistress, then it becomes a master, then it becomes a tyrant. The last phase is that just as you are about to be reconciled to your servitude, you kill the monster and fling him to the public.”
- Winston S. Churchill

When I'm in the middle of a writing project I'm also in the middle of an obsession. Scenes and ideas from the project play in an endless loop in my head in different variations as I come up with new ideas and make adjustments to older ones. It's a pleasure, in a lot of ways, but often inconvenient; in the case of my current project I find myself in tears at the most inconvenient moments, like when I'm walking down the street. How would I explain that it's because I'm putting fictional characters through the wringer in my head?

The only thing that helps, I've found, is to write out those ideas into real scenes--not just fragmentary notes, but as part of a coherent story so I can stop gnawing on them like a dog with a bone. It's such a relief to get them out of my head and onto the page, not to mention a huge rush to write out something that's lived in my head for, sometimes, years.

Some ideas don't make it into writing, of coures, and some change, and sometimes an idea will make it more or less intact but the meaning and context will have changed completely in the meantime. It's all part of the process. Mostly, in my current case, I'd like to be able to go to work without welling up at random points. #DORK

How about you? How do you interact with your writing ideas at the planning and writing stages? Do you ever find them burdensome like I do?

(This post is presently open to the public, and will be taken private within a month.)

Comments

[inkdust]

I think the more intently I'm trying to work something out, the more I start talking to myself. The other day I was writing silently at the kitchen table, and then I just stood up and turned, reached my hand out over my chair, and whispered, "People aren't that tall." And if that was just for scene blocking, I don't want to know the fragments I end up saying out loud when I'm deep in plotting. Very good at reinforcing that artist stereotype.

I also have that endless loop in my head, but mine is kinder in not interfering too much with walking down the street. I wish I would write out more of the pieces I see, actually. I know some fade and are forgotten by the time I'm ready to sit down with them. Sometimes I recognize that this or that should really be jotted down at least. But I love that sometimes I can trace the thread of imagining one thing that led to the next that led to the scene that actually made it into the story. (Examining it like this makes me think, how does anybody survive without the joy of writing?? Hah.)

[ljwrites]

LOL yeah, I find myself saying lines out loud, though only when I'm alone. I also act things out (how would I pull a spear out of an opponent's hands while cutting another down? Well, a) I can't and b) I would get myself killed trying, but at least by air-fighting I can figure out how to describe my character doing it) and I pace endlessly when I get a lot of ideas. Maybe that explains why walking can be such a hazard--there's probably a connection for me between the motion of walking and thoughts popping up unbidden.

I have this irrational, most likely misplaced confidence that I won't forget the really important stuff. I'm probably lying to myself about that because there are a lot of stuff in my notes that I don't remember at all. I really should get better about note-taking.

[inkdust]

The sad part is most of the things I end up acting out aren't even exciting motions. More like "huh...can she sit in a chair like this?" "can you rest one leg on a stool and still use the stove?" "how much can I fold my body up?" and it all feels very silly. This is why we work alone!

[ljwrites]

The kooky artist stereotype has some basis in truth, unfortunately.